Sometimes a Guy Has to Substitute

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.”

Last night as I twisted the tops off carrots I stopped and stared at green leaves against a white cutting board.

These are treats for horses.

Now, though, I have no horses.

It was a week ago today that they jumped about three feet into a stock trailer—never saw a horse do that before. At first, looking at that high step, and well, just looking at that trailer was fearsome enough—I could see it on their faces, “You’ve got to be kidding.”

In the end all four jumped in—however reluctantly.

I was impressed with the loader lady, for she said of Sierra, "If she takes a step (meaning getting closer to the trailer door) reward her.”

In the end all four horses were loaded into the trailer, then they were driven away leaving two sad faced adults who felt to be six years old again.

The lady who took them is a trainer with 64 acres of property. She has a Percheron to buddy with Sweetums, the Belgium, and she thinks Velvet, my quarter horse, will be her riding horse.

A wonderful man from the SPCA put us in touch with this lady who would take all four of the horses. We figured the SPCA would make sure they went to someone who loves horses, and would not sell them for slaughter. We gave them away because no amount of money could account for what they were worth to us, besides we couldn’t sell our friends.

As you might imagine Daughter D and I were lost for a couple of days after they left—I suppose I gave away a little of myself when I parted with them. Both of us were happy to have this issue resolved, yet another part grieved. The goats are lost too. They still wander around going, “Uh, uh.”

Their new owner plus two friends drove about 5 hours from Northern Oregon towing a big stock trailer, Velvet, Sierra, Sweetums and Dante’s chariot for their trip to their next adventure.

The first thing the new owner did was jump on Velvet bareback to see how she handled. I had told her Velvet was nervous, she said, “She’s better than you indicated.” My lady Velvet behaved as a lady. Next the new owner jumped on Sierra, who danced around a bit, but was okay. Dante got that annoying person off his back.

None of the three horses had been ridden in two years.

I worry about my little Diva Velvet in the rain and hope she has cover. She hates being in the rain and will stand in the barn with her head out saying, “Well, I want the grain, but do I have to get wet to have it?”

On the home front, I’m reading a book to Husband D before he nods off at night, it’s entitled, Busting Loose from the Money Game, by Robert Scheinfeld. It was recommended by a friend who has a way of pointing out directions when I get lost. (When we were in Germany, though, she found that when asking for directions the person would point one direction, yet nine chances out of ten where we wanted to go was the opposite direction.)

The Busting Loose book is quite esoteric, and you need to follow his directions to get it, but I can point out a couple of things I found helpful.

• The Money game is one you can’t win. It’s set up that way. Even people who seem to play it well pay a high price.
  
• As you bust loose, “Your expanded self is driving the bus. You can’t make a mistake, mess anything up, or blow it. You just trust your Expanded Self and flow with what you feel inspired or motivated to do, moment to moment.”

You know how we spend much energy trying not to feel bad?

According to Scheinfield, jump into the feeling, allow it to be as bad as you can stand, and when you reach the peak, tell the truth about it.

He likens this process to children finding plastic Easter eggs with toys inside. The child finds the egg, breaks it open, grasps the toy, and runs to the next egg. The eggs in this analogy hold our limitations, breaking them open frees us.

To use another metaphor, you know how long it takes to build a building brick by brick, steel girder by steel girder, but if an explosive charge is placed strategically the entire building will come down in seconds. Our limitations can be like that. Rather reassuring isn’t it?

Okay, here are some pertinent points.

• Express appreciation—paying bills, receiving money, all is asking for appreciation.
  
• Apply the process—feel your feelings, tell the truth
  
• Use empowering Vocabulary and self talk.

I’m out of here. You know there will be more ahead. Hopefully you will join me on this journey.